Wow we are approaching July, the first time I blogged about my weight loss journey.  June 4 is the day that I decided to take my life back and started a journey of physical and emotional weight loss; throughout this journey I have been inspired, amazed, and changed for the better.   I have to say that I started this journey with a mindset that I could never lose weight and I honestly thought of myself as sloppy and slothful.  Those words are harsh and I would never say them about anyone so why would I say them about me?  I think over the years as I practiced in being overweight, I was unkind to myself often thinking things about myself I would never think or say about others– why did I allow myself to beat myself up?   Simply put, it  was easier for me to put myself down before anyone else could– it was like I was trying to beat somebody to the punch when they were not even planning a fight.  I think women often label ourselves more harshly then we should.  If you are skinny, you will look for your flaws and focus on them and if you are fat, you will look for your flaws and focus on them.

We read magazines where society labels fat and skinny people in both positive and negative lights by saying:

• Fat people are trustworthy (except around food)
• Skinny people are vain (why shouldn’t they be because they  know their clothes will fit after a carton of ice cream)
• Fat people are funny (makes the fat disappear)
• Skinny People are Mean (Seriously look at the Villains in any Disney Movie–Cruella De Vil – Skinny, Madame Medusa- Skinny, or Any Evil Queen-Skinny)
• Fat People are lazy (mmm yep because it takes a lot of energy to carry junk around)
• Skinny People are Witchey (refer to the Evil Queen Reference above or The WIzard of Oz)
• Fat People are sloppy (seriously have you tried to cover a car with a blanket— it ain’t easy)
• Skinny People are Superficial (maybe because they can see all of themselves in a mirror — where fat people have to do a few rotations)

The Truth is that these labels are junk! Skinny People and Fat People- are People and they have dreams, goals, and lives– they are more than  shape.   I held out on losing weight because of fear, comfort, and my sheer love of food.   The labels placed on me by me did not help- it kept me from reaching my full potential sooner.  I think if you are struggling with weight you have to know that you can do anything, you just have to do something.  It is not going to be easy–in fact,  it is going to be hard, but the in the end it is worthwhile.

” When the pain of remaining the same
Is greater than the pain of change,
Then…change will come.”
— Author Unknown

Through out this journey I held on to all the people that inspired me along the way…

• friends that worked out with me and tortured me
• friends who helped me sale clothes
• friends who changed restaurants for me because I could not go there
• friends and acquaintances that have read my blog and started their own journey
• my church family who kept me in their prayers
• my work family who encouraged and kept the doors open
• my husband who has supported and encouraged me aside from the occasional Swiss Cake Slip

There were days where it was inconvenient to be my friend on this journey  because I had to heat my food up at a gas station, I had to work out, or  I had to make radical changes for my personal wellbeing because of stress.  The old Angie would have what I call “sponged” soaked it in until it filled up to where I could take no more.  The new Angie?   Well I have my sponge moments, but I inventory and look at where I am and where the decision I need to make will take me.   I thank God everyday for the people he put in my life  and I am so close to the end- stick around 10 lbs to go!!!!!

I think of of the movie Wicked, and the labels placed on the Good Witch and the Bad Witch and how interesting it is to see the story from the other side of the rainbow and how the song “For Good”  reminds me of the people who have cheered me on my journey…

Lets begin by asking the question–Is No the New Yes?  Ponder on this questions as I recap the happenings during my blogging vow of silence.

Over the last few weeks I have not blogged because I have been going through a decision making process that required me to really come to the conclusion that I needed to make a big change.  Long story short, I had taken a job which I loved and received a promotion – sounds great right?   Well after weeks of feeling like I was just not doing the right thing for many reasons both personal and professional – I had reached a point that everything I was doing was not just not turning out right and felt physically  ill.   At that point, I felt my life spinning out of control and felt the calling of Three Musketeers, Baby Ruth, and Snickers– they were calling my name and I just had to say NO!   After having worked so hard to make major changes in my life, I felt an overwhelming feeling of stress, and  I knew what was next…. M&M’s- nope not this time. This time for my problems,  I actually used prayer, words and thoughts to deal with my feelings.   I prayed and talked though my feelings with my husband, Jenny Counselor, and close friends and came to the hard decision that my  personal well being does not have a price tag on it and I realized I was not in the right position and I had to leave my job.  People this was a huge moment because the old Angie would have medicated with food and stayed there to please others at the detriment of my health and emotional  well being.   So that Monday,  I resigned.  Do not get me wrong, I loved the people, I loved the company, but I did not love who I was in that place so I had to leave.  I have another job and a new opportunity to be who I am called to be and I am very excited.  So what does this have to do with saying No?   Well when I was offered the promotion- I said Yes and I really did not process what I had done.  After working hard to inventory my life – I made a quick decision and should have given it more thought (by more thought I do not mean 6 months).   During the 2 week period of my final days at my job, I was asked to stay and my first instinct was to say yes to make them happy, but I said no because that is where the peace was.  How could I expect God to finish what He did not author?   By saying yes, I would have pleased the employer, but I would have experienced struggles and complications in a job I was not called to do.   So what can I share with you about the word No?  No is an important word in life, health and happiness and should be used when you feel you need to say No:

• No I would not like seconds (The food is delicious and saying yes would show the Host how delicious the food is – the problem is you will not work off the extra calories and your pants will not fit tomorrow!)
• No I cannot attend that event (On those days where you have worked until your tired and you will be running here and there eventually running yourself down!)
• No I do not like my hair (It may cost extra but you need to tell the stylist that the color was not what you wanted!)
• No I cannot eat out tonight – it is not in my budget It is okay to be broke only to save to be rich later and you will be healthier!)
• No I am not the right person for this job.  (Remember there is a difference in being challenged and being out of the will of God- believe you me your gut will let you know!)

Tony Blair once said “The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”  So to lead, let Your Yes be Your Yes and Your No be Your No and pave the way to success and happiness.

Over the last few weeks I have lost more weight and gained more perspective!  It is okay to say no, and look for my approval from God not people.  You cannot lead when you cannot establish goals and boundaries.  So if you struggle with saying no, start with something easy like have someone ask you a question that you can say no to like ” Don’t skunks smell fantastic?” Answer is “No ” unless you are smell challenged.   Remember – start small and end big.  I will leave you with this verse from the Bible– “But let your yes be a simple yes, and your no be a simple no, so that you may not sin and fall under condemnation. ” James 5:12

Sometimes the couch seems like a better place to be than the gym.   I was talking to a friend tonight who called just to ask how you push through a workout when you do not want to workout?  She began to inspire me because in the past week or so my couch has been more appealing to me than the gym.  She said prayer helped her through her workout and I thought I complain more than I pray when I workout- maybe I should rethink my workouts.   I was so excited to hear about her success and it really motivated me.  I am 9 months into my journey and it is easy to slack off but the most important part of the journey is the last few miles.  I had a friend last week that called me to work out and we went to a kickboxing class that I normally “fly under the radar”  by hanging out in the back and catching my breath when I need to breath.  Well that was not the case this time… my friend (slash instructor on Thursday) does not fly under anyone’s radar in fact he prefers the limelight and there was no slacking.  I did not feel like working hard in fact I felt like sitting on my bootie.   Flash forward to the next night and my other friend decided that she was going to push me in my workout and in my head I was thinking not this week I want to sleep.   So what do I do to push through when all I want to do is sit on my buttocks?  Here are a few tips….

• I put my workouts on my calendar and it is non-breakable appointment
• I refocus my mind when I feel like sitting.  I remind myself I only have a few pounds to go.
• I read my Bible or do a devotional (I have a devotional book at work and will take a moment to read this before lunch or after— I never do my devotion on my employers time)
• I always pack my workout bag like I pack my lunch- if I come home first, I will stay home
• I developed accountability in the friends around me– they look for me and I look for them— (2 friends were missing in action tonight)
• I have fun — it is easier not to dread if your workout is fun (Bootcamp, Kickboxing, or Zumba (FYI – Zumba is still too much jiggle to my wiggle to try this without a giggle)

There is a quote that the most exercise someone will get is  jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!   One of the biggest things I have had to do is eliminate the negative from my positive.  I had to stop “going there.”  You know that place you let your mind go- I had limit the travels to the world of negative.  Am I complete success at this- no.  Am I better-Yes!  I find myself being more negative at work and I have had to refocus during the day by chatting with a friend to get it out or just plain old “shutting up.”  Silence can really help negative thoughts or least I do not have to hear them out loud.    These are 2 extremes and depending on the situation I will either talk about it or shut up.  I have found shutting up seems to work the best.   This week I lost a small amount of weight which was frustrating because I really worked hard, but I am not going there because this week will be back on track.   So if you are trying to push through – just  push up– do 15 or 20 and you will be ready to conquer the world!

So remember if you just feel like sitting this week out think about this quote

That being said- I am capable, motivated, now I just need to work on the attitude – remember something is better than nothing and a loss is  a loss.   Looking for more pounds this week!  My success story this week involves a Loudmouth Golf Skirt- tis the season.   Last summer in Florida I tried on this skirt (pre-weightloss) and got stuck in the dressing room.  Not stuck because the door would not open – it is the kind of stuck that panics most women – you have tried on clothes past the size  limit and cannot get the garment off without hearing a rip or that little pooch of fat is pertruding from the zipper and you cannot get out of the skirt, pants, or whatever.   As I sweated, grunted, and sucked in, I finally got out of the grips of the zipper of death.   At that point I decided my goal was to get into that skirt without leaving a scar….tonight I had victory and got into the skirt with room to move!   I will keep pressing forward to my goal of getting that skirt altered to a smaller size.   Till next week – just do something and maybe my next picture I might wear makeup- holy cow what am I thinking – hot mess!

So two weeks ago, I had a weight gain and started to freak out just a little bit.  The following week I had a 3lb loss, and this week I had a 4lb loss.   Why am I dumping this information at the beginning, well it is important.   This week my routine got screwed up because life happens.  I missed a workout and I stayed on my eating plan; one would think that it was just one workout,  but to me that workout was critical to my success.  I stressed over this workout not giving myself enough room to relax.  Needless to say,  there was nothing wrong with missing this workout- in fact it probably helped that my routine changed a bit.  Now I wonder since  I am back on track, will I be as successful?  Just as athletes have a routine before batting, passing, or shooting free throws- I have a routine that in my mind makes me successful.  I work out 5 days a week for a minimum of 45 minutes and when I am thrown off of that routine it is easy to go into panic mode ( it is like I can hear the music from jaws going down in the back of my head and it is like fat is multiplying at the speed of light.)  I really had to do some damage control this week to my mind- I had to get it through my head that I am doing all I can to lose weight and I must afford myself grace when life happens, BUT and this is a A BIG BUT– I should not allow life happening to become a routine that allows me to excuse myself from exercise.

I have the book the Biggest Loser – Simple Swaps and I was amazed that almost all the previous contestants that have gained some weight back after the show and some will not even tell you if they have gained weight– they elect not to disclose.   The contestants still look amazing and are maintaing healthy eating habits.   I will say that life has probably interfered in their weight loss because they do not work out for 8 hours a day- they have a job, a family, and a life- they have become more balanced.   I have to remember that my perfectionism can be my best strength and my worst enemy.  This week it was my enemy- just a simple reminder that you have to swap perfectionism for a healthy balance.  How do you do this?  Simple- check out these steps from the Biggest Loser-

1. Commit to making the best -healthiest choices you can at least 80% of the time!
2. Leave time for planned and surprised indulgences without sabotaging weight loss.
3. Allow yourself to rest or do what pops up– you have been more active during the day then you realized!
4. Refocus on what inspired you to start your journey (mine was that I was tired of being unhealthy and unhappy- what a winning combination- right?)
5. Drop the fear mentality- go to the gym by yourself!   (Your friends did not make you fat, they may have helped- it was you!  You are going to have to be the person that is active and you may have to do it alone!  If you lean on  an  accountability partner you are placing your success and responsibility onto someone else when it should be between you and God.)

Remember I bought this dress several weeks ago a size or so too small — I have been staring at this dress and think I am ready to try it on—- well it zipped!!!!!!!  (No makeup and sweat rocking the Hot Mess Natural Look – I ain’t scared!)

So I was looking back at a post from July 18th titled, I Cannot Go Out to Eat with You Because I am Fat and  I thought about how important this post was at that time in my life because I was 1 month into my weight loss journey.  At that time, I did not have the tools I have acquired over the course of the last 9 months or 274 days (who is counting?).   That one post was so critical to my success because friends, food, and restaurants are always going to be a part of my life unless I become a hermit who stops eating and never comes out of my house.   I had to retrain my mind to be successful at home as well as in the world.   So what changed in me because of that post?  Well the first thing is that I admitted I had a problem; my problem was not overeating ( I had already identified that problem which is why I started my journey),  my problem was learning how to socialize and manage my food.  It meant saying to my friends I am really wanting this to happen in my life and there are going to be some things I just cannot do which includes Mexican Restaurants (cue Angels singing here).    I had to admit that  I had let my fatness rule too long in my life and I was doing something about it.   Here is the thing my friends supported me 100% which meant scheduling time with Angie was not easy for them and for that I have to say a Big Thank You to my Friends and Family for holding me accountable when it would have been easy not to.   Here is the deal for those of you in middle of a weight-loss journey or just starting your journey I am going to provide you with some important tips that will get you through:

• Tell your Friends that you have a goal and that you will need to be active and not have everything revolve around food (If they are your friends, they will get their pom poms, and cheer you on)
• Eat before you go out (It is cheaper, you control what you are eating, and you get to socialize more)
• If you travel, make better choices.   Demand more of the restaurants that you frequent.   Did you know you can tell the restaurant how to prepare your food?  Tell them prepare your food without butter and all the junk that creates fat, sodium, and calories that you do not need to consume.  Be that person who is a picky eater, it is okay it is your health.   Remember that Healthy Nut salad might as well be a brownie- just saying.
• Have a  Plan- bring your food with you!  Ask restaurants to prepare your meal (now most will not heat up your food for you because it is a Health Code issue) but some will- call ahead and say I am on a dietary restriction (You are , you are fat and should not be eating their food)
• Have a Plan B- find a microwave- be resourceful.  By gum at a minute mart and cook your food there and then take it to the restaurant.   If you are traveling, go to the grocery by healthy snacks, and heat them in the microwave at the hotel- most have them even if they are not in your room. Edamame is so much healthier than chips- and is any frozen food isle.
• Develop a Boldness! Accept no other answer than what is right for your health.  If losing weight is important, you will not waiver you will find a way.

Saturday Night after church we went to Logan’s to meet some friends ( Now this story should not keep you from going to Logan’s they were following the law and I respect that and hold nothing against them).   So we walked into the restaurant and asked if they could heat up my food, they said no.   Tim looked at me and was like now what?   The old Angie probably would have pouted, possibly thrown a fit, or made a scene.  I know that my diet and eating habits are not the Restaurant Manager’s problem, nor is it my husbands, so I had to have enough within me to evaluate how hungry I was.   I was pretty hungry so I said to Tim lets go to Citgo up the road and I will heat my food up there.  The restaurant was on a wait, so our friends stayed we drove up the road where  I heated my food up between the Beef Jerky and Monster Energy Display.    You see the Angie from the post on July 18 had to say the problem, but the Angie today had to solve the problem and be disciplined enough to live the goal set in June of 2011.

So I will end with this, if your goal is to lose weight,  ask yourself how bad do you want to lose weight?

• Do you want it so bad that you would not comprise your goal?
• Do you want it so bad that you will be in awkward situations and may have to leave a restaurant to go heat up your food?
• Do you want it so bad that even those days you do not feel like working out, you will?
• Do you want it so bad that you are all in?

Wrapping up- I lost 2lbs this week, and with that  I will leave you with this quote from Thomas Jefferson  and a tip from Angie Davis-

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” ~Thomas Jefferson

Tip- Swap being a victim to being a person that is empowered.  See yourself as an example, someone is looking to you do the right thing and by not letting your yes be yes and your no be no- it says it is okay to live in the gray area.

I have had a couple of people ask me recently if people are treating me differently since I have started losing weight?  At first, I thought this  was a weird question, but now I think about it, that question is incredibly honest and should be asked.  I would have to say I don’t know.  I do know that I have had more people talk to me and I have really opened myself up to people.  Prior to losing weight, I think I used my fatness as a protection.  As part of this process, I think that I have allowed myself to be transparent to help other people and because of that reason I have met and interacted with a lot of people that I probably would not have interacted with before I started my journey.  I am not sure people know this but I am a pretty private person and it is painfully uncomfortable to me to live my life as an open book- but I believe this journey is not only to change me physically but it is to help others change their lives for the better.

I had a lady tell me  that I have a pretty face, and now it seems like the rest of me is starting to match up.  I thought wow what an honest statement.  I never thought about it- in fact when I look in the mirror, I see flaws:  double chins, pimples, and scars.  Side note-  I really hate those magnifying mirrors they are just terrible and don’t look down on one because the double chin will have it’s own zip code. So what is this post about?  It is about how Fat People are treated by others or how Fat People treat others.

I have to say when you are fat or big you probably just want to be invisible, funny, or angry.   All these emotions let you blend in with “normal” size people.  How do I know this?  Well I have done it and perfected it.   I knew how to be quiet and not draw attention to myself sitting in the back, never asking questions, and just going with the flow.   I was pretty funny too, when I would hang out with my “Skinny” friends I had zingers and sarcasm as my go to weapons.   Anger- I could throw a tantrum with the best of them.  If something was not right, I could make an argument and isolate myself from a situation or friends.    Let me add this, I always dressed pretty good for a big girl, but I was always wondering when the button was going to pop because I probably bought the blouse in the size available not the size I was — I also know some skinny girls that do this too- so how about the fat and skinny unite and agree to buy clothes that fit?

So how are fat people treated differently, sometimes people stare at you especially when you are working out- I used to feel like people were always looking at me at the Y from the Observatory Window.   Well they were, because they may have been trying to see what was going on in the class- or maybe they were thinking if she can do it – I can do it– I was someone’s muse.   Your friends probably never say anything, but they want you to be healthy so they treat you just as they always have and will not bring up the topic unless you ask.  If you ask, you cannot get mad at them if they are honest. (If you cannot make that promise- don’t ask!)  The airlines treat you as 2 people and make you by an extra seat, but honestly they should- because that is a seat that could have been sold to another person.

So if you have a “Fat” Complex, and are  looking  at making a change– do it because you want to be healthy, happy, and not for someone else.  I honestly think size will not affect your friendships because your friends will love you no matter what.   I do however think it will affect your love of yourself and your ability to control how you deal with life and the people in your life.    In reading an article by Joyce Meyer about  weight, she says—

I have found that it is virtually impossible to operate in any of the other eight fruits of the Spirit talked about in Galatians 5:22,23 unless we are exercising self-control. For instance, how can you and I remain patient in the midst of an upsetting situation unless we exercise self-control? Or how can we walk in love and believe the best of someone after they have just repeatedly insulted us unless we use the fruit of self-control? Self-control allows us to be patient when we feel impatient, and it enables us to walk in love when we feel like getting even.

So am I different person now that I have lost weight, not really.  I am an improved version of me (Angie 2.o).  I am more transparent about who I am and what I believe because I have a heart to help others see and obtain their true potential which means the “Shy Angie” has to check herself at the door and live her live out loud on the cute and not so cute days.   So this week I gained a pound, but I also gained perspective I am happy with me and I want everyone to have the freedom found in that happiness so I have press forward to success and reaching my goal.

In the light of the loss of Ms. Whitney Houston, I would like to remind everyone that everyday is a celebration of the life that has been given to you and that celebration should not be wasted.   I remember listening to Whitney Houston in the 80′s and 90′s – I Wanna Dance with Somebody, Greatest Love of All, and I’m Everywoman.  I also remember her public struggles with addictions.  Addictions are such a difficult thing to deal with in life.  Some people are addicted to drugs, some people are addicted to alcohol, some people are addicted to gambling, and some people are addicted to food.   I can remember in college taking my first drink, and realizing that I liked who I was better when I was drinking.  Was that a truth?  No it was not.

I eventually used alcohol to cope with not wanting to feel or be who I was called to be.  I thought it made me more fun.  What I did not realize is that alcohol was slowly killing who I was called to be in life.  Was I an alcoholic?  No I do not think that is the case, but I certainly was on my way to having to drink everyday just to feel how I wanted to feel.   I remember talking with Tim and he was very direct that this lifestyle was not working out for him.  He could not handle the extremes in my personality which were a result of drinking.   What is odd is that looking over my life I have always been overweight with the exception of my college years and early years of being married.  What was different in that period of my life is that I had replaced one addiction with another addiction.   When I stopped drinking, I had a clarity and never desired to have another drink again; however I sure did enjoy a good taco or bag of M&M’s.  I was feeding my emotions with food.  If I was sad, I ate.  If I was happy, I ate.   I knew that God’s plan for my life would never be fulfilled until I admitted that I ate to cope.   If you are addicted to something that you do not need like alcohol it is easy (at least for me) not to pick that up again.  If you are addicted to food, you cannot avoid food, you need it to live.  I had to learn to control food, not let food control me.

So here are my tips to the Emotional Eater-

1. Learn to eat in a response to Hunger Cues. (Usually occur ever 3-4 hours and are a growling stomach, headache, or tiredness)
2. Learn to relax or calm yourself by an activity.  (Taking a bubble bath, nap, listening to relaxing music, and the biggest help for me was reading the Word of God– aka The Bible)
3. Find a way to express your feelings. (Say what is going on in a journal, blog, or simply confront the situation.  Side note if confronting a situation involves another person tell them before you tell others it will keep a friendship in tact— trust me.)
4. Go to your Support System.  ( A friend, a teacher, or a counselor.)
5. Learn to Blow of Steam. ( Boxing, jogging, any exercise, or dancing like a crazy person.  Side note- I enjoy boxing there is something about hitting a poor little punch bag that makes your smile)

One of the big things that I have realized over the years is that I coped with my life by outlets that would only yield a path of destruction.  I wish I would have been honest with myself earlier.  I wish I would have been honest with the people around me earlier.   I wish I would have loved myself earlier just as Christ loved me.  So to wrap up, I would like to say “Remember to Exhale” (shout out to Whitney).  One of my favorite songs was from the movie, Waiting to Exhale and one of the lines that really sang to me was:

• Sometimes you’ll laugh
• Sometimes you’ll cry
• Life never tells us 
The when’s or why’s
• When you’ve got friends to wish you well
• You’ll find a point when 
You will exhale

So now is the time to exhale and celebrate you!  I am down 2 more pounds and well on my way to meeting my goal.  Weight loss is a mindset and for once in my life I am so happy to be me and share who I am with others- I am fearfully and wonderfully made- thank you Jesus!

Psalm 139 13-17

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!

It has 239 days from the start date, it has been 7 months, 25 days from the start date, it has been 34 weeks (rounded down) from the start date, it has been 5736 hours from the start date, it has been 344,160 minutes from the start date, it has been 20,649,600 seconds since I made a decision to lose weight, but who is counting?

In 239 days, I have noticed that each day I have become a lighter person not just in terms of pounds.  Not only have I noticed it, but my husband has been so kind to point it out.  Angie today is much happier than Angie 239 days ago.   So does losing weight really make you happier?   No it does not!  So why the change in my mood, it seems to be that my weight gain was directly attached to my emotions.  If I was happy, I ate. If I was sad, I ate.  If I was stressed, I ate.  If I was mad, I ate.  It was simply a way to cope.  The only time I did not eat was when I was sleeping.

So you are probably thinking, you seemed happy.  Of course I did because I was not crabby all the time just the times you did not see me and when you did see me I was probably “fine.”  Fine is just a way of saying I really don’t want to tell you how I really feel.   How I really felt was that “no one would understand, no one really cared, and that chocolate could fill the void.”  I also had a voice in my head that said… what will people think if you dump your problems on them?  You go to church, you are a small group leader, you are a teacher… you are supposed to be someone that can help others- you should not have problems.

I once said my problems made me feel like I was selfish because they were not in my mind real problems.  Well to that I say my problems were real and some were recent problems and some go back to childhood.  My problems created emotions in me that often caused me to have sadness, madness. Just insert the “ness”  here;  I did not properly deal with the “ness” often turning to food for comfort.

So once I checked who I was or who I thought I was at the door, and really got alone with God and laid it all out on the table is when things changed.   God knew why I was the way I was, and He knew in the past I just was not ready to give Him the good, bad, and ugly- I wanted to decorate it and carry it around with me.  You know what until I made decision to give it to Him, it was mine to own.   Joyce Meyer once said running away from something or going around something will not get you where you need to be.  You will only conquer what you go through.    I went through an emotional transformation that has impacted me physically.

So when Tim said you seem I happier, I am happier but it is not because I lost weight.  It is because I lost emotional garbage.   Now that does not mean birds are singling everyday in my life?   No, some days those birds poop right on my head.   The only thing that is changed is my reaction to the poop.   Poop washes off – and the birds still sing and I am so grateful that I have been given the chance to be who I am on the days the bird sings or the bird poops.

I lost 2 more pounds this week.  I am 30lbs away from my goal and would love to have a celebration with an 80’s Party with a cool band- wondering if my husband is reading this?  I think he is!