Over the last few weeks I have not blogged because I have been going through a decision making process that required me to really come to the conclusion that I needed to make a big change. Long story short, I had taken a job which I loved and received a promotion – sounds great right? Well after weeks of feeling like I was just not doing the right thing for many reasons both personal and professional – I had reached a point that everything I was doing was not just not turning out right and felt physically ill. At that point, I felt my life spinning out of control and felt the calling of Three Musketeers, Baby Ruth, and Snickers– they were calling my name and I just had to say NO! After having worked so hard to make major changes in my life, I felt an overwhelming feeling of stress, and I knew what was next…. M&M’s- nope not this time. This time for my problems, I actually used prayer, words and thoughts to deal with my feelings. I prayed and talked though my feelings with my husband, Jenny Counselor, and close friends and came to the hard decision that my personal well being does not have a price tag on it and I realized I was not in the right position and I had to leave my job. People this was a huge moment because the old Angie would have medicated with food and stayed there to please others at the detriment of my health and emotional well being. So that Monday, I resigned. Do not get me wrong, I loved the people, I loved the company, but I did not love who I was in that place so I had to leave. I have another job and a new opportunity to be who I am called to be and I am very excited. So what does this have to do with saying No? Well when I was offered the promotion- I said Yes and I really did not process what I had done. After working hard to inventory my life – I made a quick decision and should have given it more thought (by more thought I do not mean 6 months). During the 2 week period of my final days at my job, I was asked to stay and my first instinct was to say yes to make them happy, but I said no because that is where the peace was. How could I expect God to finish what He did not author? By saying yes, I would have pleased the employer, but I would have experienced struggles and complications in a job I was not called to do. So what can I share with you about the word No? No is an important word in life, health and happiness and should be used when you feel you need to say No:
- No I would not like seconds (The food is delicious and saying yes would show the Host how delicious the food is – the problem is you will not work off the extra calories and your pants will not fit tomorrow!)
- No I cannot attend that event (On those days where you have worked until your tired and you will be running here and there eventually running yourself down!)
- No I do not like my hair (It may cost extra but you need to tell the stylist that the color was not what you wanted!)
- No I cannot eat out tonight – it is not in my budget It is okay to be broke only to save to be rich later and you will be healthier!)
- No I am not the right person for this job. (Remember there is a difference in being challenged and being out of the will of God- believe you me your gut will let you know!)
Tony Blair once said “The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” So to lead, let Your Yes be Your Yes and Your No be Your No and pave the way to success and happiness.
Over the last few weeks I have lost more weight and gained more perspective! It is okay to say no, and look for my approval from God not people. You cannot lead when you cannot establish goals and boundaries. So if you struggle with saying no, start with something easy like have someone ask you a question that you can say no to like ” Don’t skunks smell fantastic?” Answer is “No ” unless you are smell challenged. Remember – start small and end big. I will leave you with this verse from the Bible– “But let your yes be a simple yes, and your no be a simple no, so that you may not sin and fall under condemnation. ” James 5:12