I like to call myself a professional Yo-Yo Dieter. All my life I have always been a big girl:
- Elementary School I was a fat kid and a tomboy.
- Junior High I was “Chunky”
- High School I was Big but not Socially Awkward
- College I was Unhealthy but looked good on the Surface.
In college, when my Dad died I lost weight the wrong way. I ate 900 calories, I did sit ups like a mad woman, I exercised for 2 hours at a time, and I drank like a fish. I was living a college nightmare. By day, I was a straight A student and every parents dream. By night, I consumed exercise and alcohol like no tomorrow. I was and still have a tendency to be a perfectionist however over the years I have learned that my perfection does not come through what I do right; in fact it comes from the grace of God that has always been available in my life and it was until later in I embraced the grace and freedom that has allowed me to be me. I am not perfect, but I am perfectly happy.
So after college I got married, got happy, and gained weight. Now, I still drank like a fish to my husband’s dismay, and did not realize I was still unhappy about something. I continued to pack on the pounds and then I would diet and lose 10 lbs only to gain back 20 lbs. I had cycled back into the “By Day Angie” and the “By Night Angie”. When I was with people, I ate healthy and when I was alone or with my husband, I would chow down like I was in an eating contest. I was the healthiest fat person around (oxymoron.) I am sure people thought how is that she is fat, she eats so healthy. Honestly, I was working out, I was eating healthy (in public), I had given up alcohol, but at night I would eat huge bag of candy– (ah the truth).
Fast forward to years later, I got back in church and I found a critical missing piece of the puzzle that I had been leaving out- it was God and Godly Relationships. I would like to think that was the point that I starting losing weight but it was not. I still struggled. I was not ready to give up candy and the whole church socialization structure was built around food- my one nemesis. I continued to balloon up because I was happy and eating. I also continued to balloon up because I still used food to cope with my stress even though I was working out and going to church.
The final “A-Ha” Moment came in November of 2011, I was helping move a Christmas Tree and I tore an already badly damaged calf muscle from the bone and at the Achilles Tendon. The Achilles Tendon is an amazing thing- it is where we are all weak. I thought how interesting is it that my weakness with food has been revealed by damaging my Achilles Tendon. My doctor told me that I had to be off my foot for 90 days in a walking cast. He told me that the weight had caused the damage and I needed to decide if I was going to be Fit or Fat – I could not be both that night I literally had a ” Come to Jesus” meeting with God- and I got honest for the first time of all the gunk I had held on to all this time and how I used food to cope with stress instead of His Word. I was a leader in the church, I felt so hypocritical- I was not perfect. When I said those words, when I cried out to God at that moment a release occurred and I knew in my soul that I had a mission – a mission to be healthy and mission to help others. I had decided that if I could still fit in my exercise clothes when I got out of the cast:
- I would develop a healthier life style
- I develop a better ways to deal with stress
- I would learn to love being me again
- I would help others that struggle with Weight Loss
I survived and my pants fit- they were not cute, but they fit. I had to detox from bad habits and with a divine dinner appointment one night with a very good friend who basically spoke confirmation into my life, I went to Jenny Craig. Jenny Craig gave me tools, information and support to jump start my weight loss. I would like to say the rest is history, but everyday is new and has a new set of problems, but I deal with those by leaning on God not M&M’s. If you have struggled with your weight, addiction, or Yo-Yo Dieted, I am here to say that success will occur when you get honest with yourself, when you forgive yourself, and when you give it God and not ask for it back. I am still on a journey, and I want everyone to succeed at a healthy and happy life that is why I invite you to come along with me on my journey.